My life in ‘THE BIG HOUSE’ Silent Screams, A True Story
A suburban housewife’s imprisoned life of terror, weapons,
drugs, poisons and torture.
Twenty years of serving time and survival.
I told myself that I would not make it. I knew that I would die in THE BIG HOUSE. I used to tell my family, (when family communication was approved by the warden) that, “I could live in worse prisons.” I am not so certain about that comment now.
Imprisonment is hard. The institution steals your soul and infects your mind. There are rules. You play by the rules. You have to. The punishments are too extreme and painful if you cheat the rules of the Big House. I hid, I cried, I stayed away from the others. Worse yet, few people knew just how terrorizing my experience was.
The crimes committed by me, a ‘normal,’ educated, fairly intelligent housewife, from a ‘good family,’ did not warrant my imprisonment, or the associated torturous and sadistic ‘corrective’ punishments.
No unapproved spending, certainly no health care*, and no practicing of a chosen religious faith. “Church” was allowed, once (Briefly, but only because it served to personally and selfishly benefit the Warden, as he remained with this inmate as she worshiped, closely watching her, as she attended the ''allowed church.")
*Examples: Broken ribs with puncture lung on this inmate were scoffed at by Warden and not taken seriously.
*Kidney infection, endured by me, again, was ignored and considered to be a fabrication of my mind.
NOTE: When Warden suffered similar kidney infection,
MASSIVE doses of Morphine Sulphate injections were
demanded by Warden and administered to Warden at
astonishing high and frequent doses.
Incoming mail was not an option; screened, if allowed on rare occasions. Mail was typically diverted to an office of the Warden for screening/opening or disposing.
NOTES ON MAIL BOMBING LATER
I endured painful, unsanitary conditions at THE BIG HOUSE, confusing, mind-deadening and repetitive brainwashing, walled-in boredom, sleepless nights, and personal, silent screams and cries for help.
Penalties for unintentional wrongdoings by this inmate occurred often, and cruel rejoicings by the warden for his demented, evil, punishments were obvious. The warden chose me as his figurative punching bag, as this provided great delight to him and likely boosted his self-esteem.
Warden was a simpleton of short stature and few positive, productive brain cells. Warden suffered self-loathing, but I kept this secret information to myself. I feared repercussions by the warden should he discover my secret knowledge.
My assigned work at the Big House was “cook.”
Scrubbing and cleaning was typically 'hired out' by the institution, however, as any prisoner well knows, you must secretly, sometimes under the cloak of darkness, scrub on your hands and knees to keep away the hissing cockroaches, recluse spiders, and scampering rodents which share your confinement and eat your rations. Never get caught scrubbing. Penalties from the warden as harsh. An inmate's breach in The Rules brings about the all too familiar and all too frequent ‘cycle of torture,’ lasting for many days, if not weeks or months.
Wardens never forget an inmate’s slip up when it come to breaking THE RULES.
PRISON GUARDS
Prison guards spied and seemed to have no real job to do. One particular guard, whom I will refer to as, “Hank,” was frequently discovered by me, peering into my cell while I undressed or used the toilet.
ELECTROCUTION
I sometimes wonder why I survived the electrocution by Hank.
Hank must have wired something wrong. I am thankful for his ignorance in electricity and wiring.
GASSING
The gassing experience was another brush with death, but this was the clever, psychopathic planning by the warden. Chlorine gas is a heavy gas/note to self/ck the facts on chlorine gas re /heavy/.
Chlorine gas attacks the lungs, ripping the very breath out of its victims.
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:4q3A7nU3yOMJ:www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/gas.htm+contents+of+mustard+gas+chlorine&hl=en
If the cell is set up properly; proper, that is, to the inflictor, oxygen is sucked out of the cell, chlorine gas in infused, and the inmate has no choice but to fill her lungs with this toxic, suffocating gas. Unconsciousness occurs quickly after breathing chlorine gas. I literally stumbled two steps on the concrete slab away from the gas source (using my few remaining wits to discover the poisonous gas source), gasped for clean air while dizzy, confused, and far too close to collapsing into a state of stupor or worse yet, death. A gas mask would have been most helpful.*
* http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/gas.htm
* British Gas Helmet, 1916 / photo on link above
FYI: Chlorine gas became the first killing agent to be employed during World War I/note to self/chk facts/
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:HbrjfJvMwWgJ:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Use_of_poison_gas_in_World_War_I+contents+of+mustard+gas+chlorine&hl=en
***see further details regarding the use of this poisonous gas in World Was I, below
FORENSICS, POISONS, WEAPONS, DRUGS,
AND SUCH:
AK47’S, SAWED-OFF SHOTGUTS, MODIED, FULLY AUTOMATIC WEAPONS, (Illegal in all states in the USA), SILENCERS, KNIVES, POISONS, DRUGS (including needle injections, narcotics, ‘speed’, and a bizarre collection of other drugs for use on inmates).
NOTE: Warden was an addict. Again, another dirty, little secret that I kept to myself for a very long time.
Note/more on this later/
BIZARRE ‘IN-HOUSE,’ ‘MEDICAL” PRACTICE PROCEDURES PERFORMED BY WARDEN ON
THIS INMATE.
Odd injections and the cutting of flesh on
me/more later
Note: Every word written here is true.
Further notes on poisonous gas:
*** German chemical conglomerate IG Farben had been producing chlorine as a by-product of their dye manufacturing. In cooperation with Fritz Haber of the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute in Berlin, they began developing methods of discharging chlorine gas against enemy trenches. By 22 April 1915, the German Army had 160 tons of chlorine deployed in 5,730 cylinders opposite Langemarck, north of Ypres. At 17:00, in a slight easterly breeze, the gas was released, forming a grey-green cloud that drifted across positions held by French Colonial troops who broke, abandoning their trenches and creating an 8,000 yard (7 km) gap in the Allied line. However, the German infantry were also wary of the gas and failed to exploit the break before Canadian and British reinforcements arrived.
In what became the Second Battle of Ypres, the Germans used gas on three more occasions; on 24 April against the Canadian 1st Division, on 2 May near Mouse Trap Farm and on 5 May against the British at Hill 60. At this stage, defences against gas were non-existent; the British Official History stated that at Hill 60:
"90 men died from gas poisoning in the trenches; of the 207 brought to the nearest dressing stations, 46 died almost immediately and 12 after long suffering."
Chlorine was inefficient as a weapon. It produced a visible greenish cloud and strong odour, making it easy to detect. It was water-soluble so the simple expedient of covering the mouth and nose with a damp cloth was effective at reducing the impact of the gas. Chlorine required a concentration of 1,000 parts per million in order to be fatal, destroying tissue in the lungs. Despite its limitations, chlorine was an effective terror weapon, and the sight of an oncoming cloud of the gas was a continual source of dread for the infantry.
The British expressed outrage at Germany's use of poison gas at Ypres but responded by developing their own gas warfare capability. The commander of British II Corps, Lt.Gen. Ferguson said of gas:
British infantry advancing through gas at Loos, 25 September 1915.
"It is a cowardly form of warfare which does not commend itself to me or other English soldiers. We cannot win this war unless we kill or incapacitate more of our enemies than they do of us, and if this can only be done by our copying the enemy in his choice of weapons, we must not refuse to do so."
In the end, the British Army embraced gas with enthusiasm and mounted more gas attacks than any other combatant. This was due partly to the fact that the British spent most of the latter years of the war on the offensive. Also the prevailing wind on the Western Front was from the west which meant the British more frequently had favourable conditions for a gas release than the Germans. The first use of gas by the British was at the Battle of Loos, 25 September 1915 but the attempt was a disaster. Chlorine, codenamed Red Star, was the agent to be used (150 tons arrayed in 5,500 cylinders), and the attack was dependent on a favourable wind. However, on this occasion the wind proved fickle, and the gas either lingered in no man's land or, in places, blew back on the British trenches.
The deficiencies of chlorine were overcome with the introduction of phosgene, first used by Germany in December 1915. Phosgene was a potent killing agent, deadlier than chlorine and difficult to detect, being colourless and having an odour likened to "mouldy hay". Phosgene's disadvantage was that it was light-weight and readily dissipated, so it was initially mixed with the heavier chlorine. The other drawback was that the symptoms of exposure took 24 hours or more to manifest, meaning that the victims were initially still capable of putting up a fight.
More later/taking a break.
Note: Every word written here is true. | 